Blessings and prayers / Meditations

The prayer I needed to pray

I’ve been having a tough week. Work has been intense, and the repetition and restrictions of lockdown were starting to wear down my resilience. I have been waking in the mornings feeling depleted, rather than refreshed. Yesterday morning, I woke, cajoled myself into doing a little yoga and then sat to connect myself to What Is. And this is what happened...

This morning
As I closed my eyes to pray
I said
“Today I connect to that which is greater than me”
And I felt that flicker of wonder
To be connected to everything that is
Every mystery, every mountain, every soul

…Every soul?
At this, fear and reluctance crept in
Because to connect to all of that
Is to connect to a torrent of pain and injustice and uncaring

My soul flinched away
Better to stay tucked inside
Separated by walls, and by scrolling, and by holding to my own centre

But then I remembered
The reason I uttered this prayer
Is because I need something
(Who prays, else?)

I needed to plug into the source
I needed replenishing

So my new prayer is this:

To all that is
To Compassion
Grant me the courage to be connected
To let myself become one with the mystery and the pain

That I might feel, amidst and within and permeating through everything that hurts
The flow of the universe, aliveness itself
Which redeems

I connect myself with the mess and the chaos
I release myself to be one with it all

And I feel my own aliveness come flooding back

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